Greaze’s Post-Draft Prospectus

Now that the draft is over and you’ve used all of Mel Palzy Jr.’s advice to assemble the uber-squad, what are you going to do now? Start by deleting all the drunken text messages you sent out about your new team to your friends, colleagues…and your grandma! Really? You texted your grandma about your new squad? No one cares about your fantasy team, except maybe her— you can expect bimonthly calls checking in on your underperforming RB3s and poor spot starts at DEF. In the meantime do everyone a big favor and spare them your 20-minute shpeel on how you’re stacked and everyone should just pay up now. They may smile and nod if they’re nice, I usually just tell people to shut up before they really get going. “You want some advice? Shut up!”


The time between the draft and kickoff on Sept 8th can be pretty boring, but boring in this case is good. The only news you’re going to hear about your players before Week 1 will probably involve one of the following miserable words: Broken, Arrested, Suspended, Gun, Pot, Booze, DUI, Steroids. Other than hoping your players follow the BYU Honor Code here are a couple things to keep your mind focused on Fantasy Football and clear of the important things in life.


Depth Charts—Fantasy Football more than any other fantasy sport involves a lot of luck and a shit ton of injuries. Look at your team right now, half of them will be hurt for at least 2-3 games and if you’re lucky only one or two will go down with a season ending injury. It is to your advantage to know that Montario Hardesty is Peyton Hillis’s back up and that Matt Willis is the 5th WR in Denver. These types of players certainly will not win you a championship by themselves, but could win you a matchup down the stretch. If a big time RB1 like Peyton Hillis goes down for a week or two your knowledge of depth charts will point you in the right direction on some potential One Week Wonders like Hardesty.


Hoarding—If you have roster spots available on your bench, don’t waste them on back up TEs and your “sleepers” that you could drop and no one else would pick up. Load up on backup RBs. I don’t recall hearing too much about BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Mike Tolbert and Peyton Hillis before last season and the three of them finished in the top 8 in RB TDs last year. The point is that guys come from nowhere and put up big fantasy numbers at RB not at TE. If you hold on to Zach Miller to back up Jermichael Finley instead of stashing a potential breakout RB, you don’t give your self a chance to nab the next Hillis. Zach Miller will still be there week 8 when Finley has a bye, if not, oh well—you can find another TE on waivers to accompany your new breakout RB!


Degenerate Den Pick of the Week:

It’s the Preseason for crying out loud! Save the money you were going to bet on a preseason pillow fight and buy something nice for your girlfriend. Ha! I assumed you had a girlfriend, go buy yourself an 18pack, pass out early and refrain from telling your boys about how Robbie Gould is going to set the NFL single season points record this year.




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